So, last night, I was on a video call with one of my best friends, because that’s how you catch up in 2021. He was telling me about how the lockdown has started to take a toll on his mental well-being and how he has been experiencing occasional spells of depression and anxiety in the past four to five months. He also added that everyone he tried to talk to regarding his state of mind shot him down by saying things like, “It’s normal,” “You’ll be fine,” “Just be happy,” which made me think how ignorant we still are when it comes to depression and mental health!
Mental health is still not taken seriously here in India. You’re considered weak if you talk about your mental health issues. There’s a lack of knowledge and understanding regarding the subject, even among the educated in society. If you’re feeling depressed, you’ll be asked to just snap out of it. Because of this, not many people open up about their emotional struggles to their loved ones, let alone seek professional help.
While sadness usually passes fairly quickly, depression can stay for months or even years. Depression is more than just feeling sad or low and it can affect every single aspect of your life.
If you know a loved one who is going through depression, you can play an important role in helping them recover.
While it’s important to discuss mental health with people you care about, if you don’t show empathy and compassion, you might end up doing more harm than good. When it comes to helping someone with depression, knowing what you shouldn’t say or do is as important, or even more important, than knowing what to say or do. Here are some dos and don’ts.
Don’t tell them to “Just snap out of it!” Just as you cannot tell an injured person to just stop feeling the pain, you cannot tell a person suffering from depression to stop feeling depressed. Depression can develop due to many reasons, reasons that are not always in control of the one feeling depressed.
Don’t tell them to try harder. Being told to try harder when they’re already putting in their best efforts can be demoralizing. It can make them feel like their situation is hopeless.
Don’t compare their feelings to those of others. Avoid making comments like, “Everyone goes through this,” or, “It could be worse.” Being compared with others will only make things worse.
Don’t dismiss their feelings or pain. Avoid making comments like, “But you don’t look depressed!” It’s common for people with depression to put on a happy face, hide their real feelings, and pretend to be cheerful in front of others. People try to hide their feelings because they might be embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, or afraid of other people judging them.
Be a good listener and validate their feelings. Use phrases like, “I’m sorry to hear that,” and, “That sounds really difficult.”
Encourage them to find support. Educate them about the benefits of therapy. Help them to find a therapist and book an appointment as it can be a very stressful task.
Be patient with them. Depression takes time to heal. It’s a slow process. A person with depression may have to try different therapists, counselling approaches, and medication before they find something that helps their symptoms.
It’s important to understand that depression is a medical condition that requires treatment in the form of therapy, medication, or both. Your support and encouragement can play a significant role in your loved one’s recovery.
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